Self Talk - 003 Dear Mammy and Daddy

Dear Mammy and Daddy,

Back again - Happy Family Fridays. Hope you have had a lovely week.

Again this week had it’s ups and downs but we got through the rollercoaster and I am excited to go exploring Tokyo again this weekend!!

I know it is still lockdown at home so I hope all is well and you are enjoying your outside time :)

Numbers are getting higher in Tokyo again, they think we are going into a third wave so we will see what the next few weeks will bring.
​
Let’s see what my reflections from this week are, lots of experiences, lots of reflections…..

Self Talk

I think my biggest takeaway from this week is the importance of what goes on inside our heads.

I read a quote a while ago and I can’t remember where it was from and it went something like ‘we all exist in two worlds, our inner world and our outer world.’

Some things have happened this week that have made me recognise the importance of what words we say to ourselves and how we respond to those.

 “How many times have you talked to yourself, reassured yourself or had battles within your own head? “ - Prof. Steve Peters

I advocate for being aware of our emotions, behaviours and reactions and share ways we can empathise with ourselves as well as others around us.

I have really had to walk my own talk this week. It is not just a simple switch, an off and on button, where we can simply stop feeling in the moment.

My biggest takeaway is that it is a process. It is a choice. Although my experiences this week have made me feel a bit icky I have a choice on wether to dwell and remain in that space or not.

​I think this week I have probably remained and dwelled more than I would have wanted and I was asking myself why?

​​And I think it comes back to the book I just quoted from - The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters.

I found this book about 6 years ago and it was an amazing introduction for me into our brain and how it functions when I was in my first year of teaching and needed to understand why I was feeling so overwhelmed.

It talks about the different parts of our brain referring to our logical brain as the Human, the emotional brain as the Chimp and the processing part of our brain as the Computer.

The author acknowledges that this is a very simplistic view of a very complex system but it is intended to be a start and a simple way to seek to understand what is going on.

​The image above shows how when something happens either our rational or emotional brain registers what is going on.  So when we make a plan of action it can be logical or emotional.

When it is something we don't like, our chimp can hijack our brain and we have a choice on wether to believe the chimp or to help the chimp calm down.

I think this week I gave into my chimp. I allowed my emotions to drive my reactions and my thoughts. I allowed myself to dwell, to have fights in my head, to turn things into bigger catastrophes than they were.

And I don’t think this is wrong because it is natural for us to respond to our surroundings but I definitely don’t think it was helpful.

It created feelings of uncertainty, feelings of anxiousness, feelings of resentment and as a person who doesn’t go to that area too often it definitely hasn’t been nice but it has been an experience. It is an experience that I need to accept because that is where I was at this week.

And it has helped me practice what I preach haha. 

Going back to the idea of self talk - I think this has been an important lesson for me - the thoughts we think become our reality. The perspective we take becomes what we see and this week has taught me the importance of trying to take a step back and recognise are the thoughts I am having helpful or unhelpful? What is going on in my environments to make me feel this way? What can I do about it? 

"Imagine you have climbed into a helicopter that has taken off and is now hovering about the situation" - Prof Steve Peters

Love this strategy that Prof Steve Peters talks about and I have used it a few times this week but sometimes it was tricky to get the helicopter off the ground to seek perspective because my chimp and emotions were definitely in the driving seat haha. 

If we can seek perspective on a situation I think it helps. Sometimes I had to talk with Rob, my partner in crime or speak with family and friends. Getting my thoughts out of my head helped me think about if I actually believed them or not.

And if I didn't have someone to talk to at that moment it has been great to write wee notes to myself and even write this blog because by getting the thoughts out of my head and into reality they become tangible and I can seek perspective on them too. 

If anyone is going through a tough time I would urge you to speak out or just write down your reflections it is something that has really helped with my process over the past few weeks!! 

So those are my ramblings from this week....

And here are some pictures from our Tokyo Tours this week. Autumn is in full swing and it is absolutely gorgeous!! We went on a wee unknown tour last week and stumbled upon an amazing area called Odaiba and Rob found one of the Gundam Wing statues so was all lured (very happy). 

We also got our Christmas Tree - Yay!! Smallest tree in the world but it is still our tree <3 

Like I said before our numbers are going up so hopefully we can still get out and about over the next few weeks. 

Hope you have had a great week too!! 

Can't wait to share more next week!! 

Remember - Our choices have an impact, what impact will you have? 

xoxo